The Magic of Music, Part 1

Music is such a powerful thing. Done right, it can invoke such strong reactions in the listener. It completely changes the tone of a scene in a movie or tv show, can get you moving on a run, or make a long drive a little more exciting.

Guess where I’m going with this.

That’s right, an endo playlist!

Sometimes, you want some songs that resonate with the pain and loneliness. Sometimes, you want something to offer hope, or buoy up your fighting spirit. Below, I’ve set out five songs that I love to listen to when I’m having a bad time.

Because this is a really huge post, I’m splitting it into two.  Keep your eyes peeled (what a weird phrase) for part 2 and another five songs shortly.

1) Head Above Water, by Avril Lavigne

I have been an Avril fan since I was a little quasi-emo teen. This song is definitely not classic Avril, but it really showcases her amazing vocal talent regardless. Written in the depths of her fear and hopelessness as she battled Lyme Disease, you know listening that this woman gets it. There’s despair, there’s hope, there’s pain, there’s resignation, there’s a cry for help. It has it all.

I’ve gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don’t want less, I don’t want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm
Yeah, my life is what I’m fighting for
Can’t part the sea, can’t reach the shore
And my voice becomes the driving force
I won’t let this pull me overboard
God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown
So pull me up from down below
‘Cause I’m underneath the undertow
Come dry me off and hold me close
I need you now, I need you most
God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Keep my head above water, above water
And I can’t see in the stormy weather
I can’t seem to keep it all together
And I, I can’t swim the ocean like this forever
And I can’t breathe
God, keep my head above water
I lose my breath at the bottom
Come rescue me, I’ll be waiting
I’m too young to fall asleep
God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don’t let me drown
Don’t let me drown (don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown)
Don’t let me drown (don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown)
Keep my head above water, above water

My favourite line: “So pull me up from down below, cause I’m underneath the undertow.  Come dry me off and hold me close, I need you now, I need you most.”

Listen when: you feel like no one understands

2) Heart Full of Scars, by Rebecca Black

This song isn’t about chronic illness, but it had such a fighter vibe. It’s about someone just owning their situation and doing what they need to get through it. It always peps me up a bit.

Stop
Don’t tell me how to feel
These scars will never heal
Overnight
I’m just searching for what’s real
It’s hard enough to deal
With life
Learn to say f*** it, take my time
Life’s a bitch but I’ll make it mine
Make it, make it, make it mine
Learn to take it as a sign
If you don’t like me, get in line
You won’t break me, break me with your lies
Sometimes you bleed for who you are
It’s hard to love with a heart full of scars
I won’t feed into your dark
I’ll keep loving with a heart full of scars
(Heart full of scars)
You’re never gonna keep me down
Doesn’t really matter what you’d say
I’m not living for yesterday
(Heart full of scars)
I’ve figured out how to turn it around
I’m learning how to bend, not break
A full life is give not take
(Heart full of scars)
Done with doubt and overthinking
Wait for it to sink in
I’m enough
Sick of try’na to be your perfect
The pain is never worth it
Never was
Learn to say f*** it, take my time
Life’s a bitch but I’ll make it mine
Make it, make it, make it mine
Learn to take it as a sign
If you don’t like me, get in line
You won’t break me, break me with your lies
Sometimes you bleed for who you are
It’s hard to love with a heart full of scars
I won’t feed into your dark
I’ll keep loving with a heart full of scars
(Heart full of scars)
You’re never gonna keep me down
Doesn’t really matter what you’d say
I’m not living for yesterday
(Heart full of scars)
I’ve figured out how to turn it around
I’m learning how to bend, not break
A full life is give not take
(Heart full of scars)
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
O-o-o-o-oh
You’re never gonna keep me down
Doesn’t really matter what you’d say
I’m not living for yesterday
(Heart full of scars)
I’ve figured out how to turn it around
I’m learning how to bend, not break
A full life is give not take
(Heart full of scars)

 

Favourite line: “I won’t feed into your dark, I’ll keep on loving with a heart full of scars.”

Listen when: you need a pep up after someone gives you a hard time about your illness (even if it’s you)

3) Full of Grace, by Sarah McLachlan

Darling of the late 90s, Sarah McLachlan specialises in heartbroken, wistful songs. Full of Grace probably isn’t about endometriosis, but it perfectly captures the devastating impact endo can have on relationships.

The winter here’s cold and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

Favourite line: “I know I could love you much better than this.”

Listen when: you are sad about your relationship and want to wallow a bit (may make you sadder)

4) Where My Heart Will Take Me, Russell Watson

Like most people who know this song, I first heard it in the title sequence for Star Trek: Enterprise (a hugely underrated series, in my humble opinion).  It is very different from the title sequence of any other Star Trek, but I love it.  The sequence itself is a tribute to human innovation and our explorer’s spirit (as is the fan-made version above), but that’s a story for another day.  This is about the song.  It’s a song that always fills me with hope, courage to continue, and makes me think that maybe something better is just around the corner.  It inspires me to keep going.  It’s just very positive.

The original title sequence was a very truncated version of the song – the one I’ve put here is the full version.

It’s been a long road
Getting from there to here
It’s been a long time
But my time is finally near
And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing’s in my way
And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
No, they’re not gonna hold me down
‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got faith to believe
I can do anything
I’ve got strength of the soul
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I’ve got faith
I’ve got faith, faith of the heart
It’s been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
And I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
No, they’re not gonna change my mind
‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got faith to believe
I can do anything
I’ve got strength of the soul
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I’ve got faith, faith of the heart
I’ve known the wind so cold, I’ve seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change
I’ve been through the fire and I’ve been through the rain
But I’ll be fine
‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got faith to believe
I can do anything
I’ve got strength of the soul
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got strength of the soul
No one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I’ve got faith
I’ve got faith, faith of the heart
It’s been a long road

My favourite line: “I’ve got faith to believe I can do anything”

Listen when: You need someone to believe in you

5) Healing Incantation, sung by Mandy Moore in Tangled

I’m a big fan of Disney, and Tangled is, if not my favourite, definitely near the top of the list for me.  It’s so pretty!  Flynn is so funny!  Gothel is so wicked!  Rapnuzel’s hair!  The lanterns!  I love it.

Anyway, this song really, really resonates with me.  When she sings it, I think along with it like a prayer.

Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the Fates’ design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine

Favourite line: “Bring back what once was mine”

Listen when: You really, desperately want healing

 

Nevertheless, She Persisted

Last month I shared my favourite quotes on the topic of consistency.  Today I want to write about her cousin, persistence.

Like consistency, persistence is absurdly hard for the chronically ill.  I swear, every time I get in the rhythm of something and think I’m finally achieving things, I get sick or have a flare or need a new dose of depot or something that throws everything out of wack.  It can be really hard to claw your way back into life after a derailing like that.  Other times, it can be hard to fight on through the black cloud of misery that attaches to the reality of the word “chronic.”  But, by and large, we do.  Nevertheless, they persisted.

Now, I have a lot of problems about the rhetoric chucked around about persistence.  So much of it focuses on “success”, and seems to define success in a pretty narrow, business/entrepreneurial way.  For me, I’ve succeeded if I’ve made it through the day upright and the kitchen is only mostly messy instead of buried under dirty dishes.  I also don’t think that we should practice good qualities, like persistence, because they bring an inherent reward – we should do it because it is the right thing to do, and because being able to say “I persisted” is a reward in and of itself.

I also have some problems with quote #8, because I think, when the battle is so very hard, even a strong person can be beaten , so I’d ask people to take that one with a grain of salt.  That being said, I do think persistence is a demonstration of strength, even if the strong don’t always succeed at it.

As always, I’ve tried to include quotes that look at different angles of the subject – most quotes on persistence are just variation on “persist and you’ll succeed!!!!”  Sometimes, though, we need to know when persistence has just become stubbornness, and when it will hurt us rather than help.  We also need to acknowledge that you can persist only so long without ceasing.  Sometimes, persistence includes resting for a while before you pick your burden back up – it’s the getting back up that makes it persistence, not the notion of doing it constantly.

Regardless (or nevertheless), here are some quotes about persistence to get you through the next little while:-

  1. “Persistence pays off.” – Jeffrey Dean Morgan
  2. “Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience.  Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.”  – Hal Borland
  3. “Nothing in this world will take the place of persistence.  Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.  Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”  – Calvin Coolidge
  4. “We are made to persist…that’s how we find out who we are.”  – Tobias Wolff
  5. “Success is not the absence of failure; it’s the persistence through failure.”  – Aisha Tyler
  6. “Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.”  – Anthony J D’Angelo
  7. “A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”  – Elbert Hubbard
  8. “Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement and impossibilities: it is this, that in all things, distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”  – Thomas Carlyle
  9. “Throughout human history, in any great endeavour requiring the common effort of many nations and men and women everywhere, we have learned – it is only through seriousness of purpose and persistence that we ultimately carry the day.  We might liken it to riding a bicycle.  You stay upright and move forward so long as you keep up the momentum.”  – Ban Ki-Moon
  10. “With patience and persistence, even the smallest act of discipleship or the tiniest ember of belief can become a blazing bonfire of a consecrated life.  In fact, that’s how most bonfires begin – as a simple spark.”  – Dieter F Uchtdorf
  11. “Some people mistake grit for sheer persistence – charging up the same hill again and again.  But that’s not quite what I mean by the word ‘grit’.  You want to minimise friction and find the most efficient way forward.  You might actually have more grit if you treat your energy as a precious commodity.”  – Reid Holfman
  12. “To make our way, we must have firm resolve, persistence, tenacity.  We must gear ourselves to work hard all the way.  We can never let up.”  – Ralph Bunche
  13. “Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.”  – Napoleon Hill
  14. “The real issue is not talent as an independent element, but talent in relationship to will, desire and persistence.  Talent without these things vanishes and even modest talent with these characteristics grows.”  – Milton Glaser
  15. “In life, an abundance of confidence gives us higher motivation, persistence, and optimism and can allow us to accomplish things we otherwise might not have undertaken.”  – Whitney Tilson
  16. “Persistence and determination are incredibly important.  But sometimes you need to analyse the situation and understand when you’re wrong.  You need to be able to cop to being wrong, learn to change, and continue to grow as a human being.”  – Sasha Grey
  17. “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.  In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”  – Maya Angelou
  18. “I will persist until I succeed.  Always will I take another step.  If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another.  In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.  I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.”  – Og Mandino
  19. “A failure is not always a mistake.  It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances.  The real mistake is to stop trying.”  – B F Skinner
  20. “You go on.  You set one foot in front of the other, and if a thin voice cries out, somewhere behind you, you pretend not to hear, and keep going.”  – Geraldine Brooks
  21. “If you won’t fly, then run; if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”  – Martin Luther King Jr
  22. “If you are going through hell, keep going.”  Winston Churchill
  23. “Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, I will try again tomorrow.”  – Mary Anne Radmacher
  24. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”  – Confucius
  25. “My strength lies solely in my tenacity.”  – Louis Pasteur
  26. “as long as there is breath in you – persist.”  – Bernard Kelvin Cline
  27. “Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of the hard work you already did.”  – Newt Gingrich
  28. “To persist with a goal, you must treasure the dream more than the costs of sacrifice to attain it.”  – Richelle E Goodrich
  29. “Life is made up of a series of tests, trials and great opportunities.  Some are momentary, but most take endurance.”  – Michael K Simpson
  30. “In order to persist, you have to ensure that you surround yourself with positivity.”  – R L Adams
  31. “Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth try.”  – James A Michener

Do you have a favourite quote that pushes you to keep going when you think you can’t take another step?  What makes persistence a battle for you?

Next month I’ll be collecting quotes about integrity, so stay tuned.

Courage, Dear Heart

William Tecumseh Sherman (a general in the American Civil War, among other things), described courage as “a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it.”  I think that’s a good, if slightly narrow definition, as it takes courage to face hardship, humiliation and pain just as much as danger.  Either way, it’s a quality vital to the chronically ill.  It takes courage to live every day with discomfort and sickness.  That’s why it was my theme for February.  Below are all the quotes I’ve written in my journal this month.  My journal also helpfully inserted on of it’s own: “Life shrinks or expands in proportion with one’s courage” – Anais Nin.

I chose courage as the theme for February because I think we really start to need it now.  The first rush of hope that comes with the new year has faded and we are faced with the reality of life going on, as it does.  It can be a painful come-down from January, and I find myself needing a little bit of courage to push through it.

As with January and its theme of “hope“, I’ve tried for a range of quotes that capture a lot of different aspects of courage – what it means, how you get it, what it does, why it is important, and what things require it.

If you are wondering why the picture for this article is a handsome little black and white mouse on a luxurious red mouse-sofa, it is because that is my dear departed mouselet Napoleon, whose namesake was, whilst unfortunately French, undeniably brave.  My little mousey Napoleon was also extremely brave, and though trying to take on my rats (at least ten times his size, in one case) was a perfectly reasonable move.  He never actually managed to get them, and instead lived a life of luxury, got quite chubby, and died at the ripe old age of two and a half.  He was adorable and I loved him.

Anyway.  Courage.

  1. “Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities…because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”  – Winston Churchill
  2. “It requires more courage to suffer than to die.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
  3. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
  4. “Success is not final, fear is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
  5. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.   You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that comes along.'” – Eleanor Roosevelt
  6. “Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts.  That’s what little girls are made of.” – Bethany Hamilton
  7. “Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee
  8. “We don’t develop courage by being happy every day.  We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Barbara de Angelis
  9. “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what is takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill
  10. “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – e e cummings
  11. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
  12. “Efforts and courage are not enough with purpose and direction.” – John F Kennedy
  13. “Courage is grace under pressure.” – Ernest Hemingway
  14. “The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” – Robert Green Ingersoll
  15. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T. S. Eliot
  16. “One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential.  Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency.  We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous or honest.” – Maya Angelou
  17. “Have the courage to say no.  Have the courage to face the truth.  Do the right thing because it is right.  These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” – W. Clement Stone
  18. “From caring comes courage.” – Lao Tzu
  19. “Courage is contagious.  When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” – Billy Graham
  20. “The truth is: belonging starts with self-acceptance.  Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” – Brene Brown
  21. “It took me realising that a broken heart has never actually killed anyone to find the courage to ask for what I want, in just about ever situation.  That was part of my own growing up.” – Ginnifer Goodwin
  22. “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” – C. S. Lewis
  23. “Amongst the qualities a hero should have, I would include determination, loyalty, courage, perseverance, patience, focus, intrepidity, and selflessness.” – Ricky Martin
  24. “I believe that my worth is not measured by what I do, by the honours that are bestowed upon me, or by material wealth that I might obtain.  Instead, I am measured by the courage I show while standing for my beliefs, by the dedication I exhibit to ensure my word is good, and the resolve I undertake to establish my actions and deeds as honourable.” – Burgess Owens
  25. “Courageous people do not fear forgiving, for the sake of peace.” – Nelson Mandela
  26. “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown
  27. “God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless.” – Chester W. Nimitz
  28. “Have courage and be kind.” – Cinderella

The hardest part about this list is keeping it to just 28.  There are so many things to be said on this theme.  Do you have a favourite?

Stay brave, my friends.  Come back next month for March’s theme: kindness.

Staying Strong

So far in this mini-series I’ve talked about staying grateful and staying generous when we are faced with challenges that make it very hard to do that.  Today I want to talk about how we stay strong.

I think this is probably the hardest thing of all.  I can generally find something I’m grateful for even in the midst of despair – usually especially in the midst of despair – such as love, or morphine.  I don’t find it hard to give my time and energy to people because I literally do it for a living.  However, I do find it hard to pull myself out of depressive slumps and keep going.  We don’t get to use little mantras like “this too shall pass”, because it probably won’t.  We might not be able to exercise to get those endorphins pumping.  So what can we do?  More specifically, given that I’m neither a motivational speaker or a counsellor, what works for me and might work for you?

1) Accepting the situation

And right away we’ve got the hardest thing on the list.  Accepting what the situation is rally hard for me, because it requires me to walk a weird line between hoping that things will get better but also not dwelling on the fact that they aren’t, whilst being clear with myself that they might not, but not despairing about that.  It’s like being in a washing machine sometimes.  It doesn’t mean fatalism or pessimism; it just means dealing with the hand we are dealt right now and learning to live with it.  That being said, I still advocate…

2) Working to change it

Accepting the situation doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be working on getting better.  Keep checking with your specialist (or multiple specialists) about alternatives, clinical trials, advances, anything that will progress your ability to manage endometriosis.

3) Having a purpose

Setting goals is one thing that makes me keep going.  I will not give in because I haven’t done X, Y or Z yet.  Sometimes they are long-term things, like making it through a year of work and going up a pay grade, or growing this blog to 100 followers with a giveaway to celebrate (let me know in the comments in that is something you’d like).  Sometimes it is smaller things, like to give this new medication a go, or to make it to the next long weekend and reassess.  As long as I have a reason to keep pushing through, it makes it a little easier.  Right now I’ve got my eyes on two weeks hence, when I’ll meet with Dr Edi-Osagie again to see if the Zoladex is working and determine whether surgery is the next step.  Having something in the future that I am focused on makes it easier to push through the present, which is mostly a weird stabbing pain in my…bladder?  Uterus?  Can’t really tell.

4) Staying as positive as possible

As I said in my last two posts, being happy makes it easier to deal with the bad stuff.  Training your brain into a more positive mindset isn’t a foolproof, 100% guarantee that you’ll always be happy, but it helps.

5) Treating myself well

Whether it is looking after myself physically by taking my medication and vitamins, keeping myself mentally healthy by being kind and forgiving to myself, or just plain spoiling myself on occasion, I find it much easier to make it through a week when I’m doing those things than when I’m not.  My journey’s hard enough; no point making it harder.

6) Keeping occupied

When you are stuck at home just doing one thing all the time it becomes really easy not to do anything at all.  I try to switch it up as often as possible.  Rather than watch several episodes of a show back-to-back I’ll go outside for 10 minutes after one, or get on the floor to hug my dog, or go and write something on my blog.  Mind games like Sudoku or logic puzzles are good to keep the old brain-motor running as it should.  Having an app to switch to for a little while, or a book, or doing some journalling or doodling is great.  The more you do the harder it is to sink into a depressive state (and the more you sink into a depressive state, the harder you will find it to switch up activities).  If I binge-watch a series, no matter how excellent, I won’t stop, and I’ll hate myself for it, and that will make me feel useless, and then I’ll be useless.  Breaking it up with other activities makes me feel more productive and active.

7) Asking for help

I’ve already talked about how I couldn’t have made it through the past few years without a support network.  Sometimes, I’m not feeling so strong.  Either I have no hope for the future, or feel like I can’t bear up under the pain any more, or simply need help taking the load off for a bit so I can get into a healthier mindset without the stress of undone tasks.  Asking friends and family to pitch in with some emotional support or practical help lets me do that.

8) Letting my worries out

Whether by writing them down, talking them over or praying them away, analysing my fears lets me take control over them and prevent them from controlling me.  If I know what my fear is I can step on it by asking, “So what?”  That’s kind of how this blog started.  I was telling myself, “I’m going to get fired because of my health.  I’ll lose my entire career and never be a lawyer ever again.”  Then I said to myself, “So what if that happens?  What will I do?”  “Ella,” I said, “I’ll start a blog.  That way I’ll have something to keep me busy and maybe one day I can even use it as a business.”  (There was a bit more emotional drama in between those sentences, but you get the gist).

Of course, this doesn’t always work.  Sometimes there is no solution to the worry so I’ll focus instead on letting it go, only to find it comes buzzing back in like that annoying little fly you’re sure you saw fly out of the window a minute ago.  Trying is important, though.

9) Staying hopeful (but not too hopeful)

If you pin all your hopes on a particularly solution, you will be crushingly devastated when it fails.  However, a bit of cautious optimism lets you aim for the faint light at the end of the tunnel, and means you aren’t absolutely broken when you find out it was a vital part of the tunnel infrastructure catching fire instead.  A little bit of hope makes it easier to get through the bad stuff because there is the possibility it might get better.

10) Preparing

Even if I don’t go out, I make sure to do certain things as if I will.  Every day I wash my face, brush my hair and clean my teeth.  It’s not much and it is something most people take for granted, I suspect.  However, those three little things make me feel more human, give me a small sense of purpose and achievement, and ensure that I don’t look and smell in the event that someone knocks on the door.  Even if I’m in my pjs, it gives me a small sense of self-possession I would otherwise lack, and it’s that small sense that helps me feel like I’m more competent, more confident, and therefore stronger.

 

What do you do to get through the really tough bits?  Any mantras or quotes that help you?  Let me know in the comments.