June Gratitude

I feel like I’ve prefaced every monthly gratitude post recently with a note that it’s been a hard month.  Once again, though, it has been.  My Prostap injections have stopped working – my doctor thinks this one was a dud – so I’ve been dealing with a solid month of pain accompanied by a really icky cold (lots of lovely mucus – yay!).

I think this makes it even more important that I take a moment to stop and think about the things this month that I am grateful for.

1)  Cake!

I successfully baked three really nice cakes this month.  One was a packet mix, so I can’t be too proud of it, but seriously, if you want a deliciously moist, rich, vegan chocolate cake, just add a can of Coke to the stuff in Betty Crocker’s Devil’s Food Cake and bake it, and voila, instant deliciousness.

I also made this funfetti cake from It Doesn’t Taste Like Chicken.  Unfortunately, my sprinkles vanished into the cake and just left little blobs of yellow behind, but the cake itself was delicious, and I’m really proud of the rainbow icing.  Sure, it has some holes in the bottom layer, but it’s the first time I’ve ever tried to get fancy with buttercream, so I’m proud of myself.

Rainbow Cake (2)
Image description: a violently rainbow cake with colours ranging from red at the bottom through the rainbow to purple at the top.  It has rainbow sprinkles on top and is sitting on a silver plate in a fridge.  Please excuse the shocking photography – the bright light in the fridge was the only place I could really capture the intense colour.  

My third cake was for my mother’s birthday, and was the tastiest of the three.  I used this incredible, zingy lemon cake recipe from Lazy Cat Kitchen.  I cooked it slightly too long but it still turned out really well – very soft and fluffy on the inside and soaked in sweet lemony flavour.  Definitely a “make again”.

2)  Basketweaving

My workplace celebrated Reconciliation Day last month by holding Aboriginal basketweaving classes for employees, taught by an Aboriginal woman who travelled out on country to learn the techniques and is sharing them with us.  It’s really relaxing and it’s nice to have something to do with my hands when I’m watching tv or listening to an audiobook.  I’m trying to make a basket for Max, which is a little tricky because he is a) fat and b) prone to eating the materials I use, but I’m pushing through.

3) Max is ok

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Image description: a fluffy ginger cat with green eyes and a slightly angry expression.  That’s Max.  He’s not actually angry, he just has a resting bitch face.  He’s so chill that today he let me pull him down onto his side and rub his tummy for a good ten minutes.  For many more Max pics follow my instagram – OffBalanceSpinningTop.  

Last month I wrote about how Max had to have dental surgery.  He’s all recovered from that now, but gave me a scare this month when I found blood in his urine.  After a rushed vet visit and some medication, it turns out he probably just had sterile cystitis, and is back to peeing normally (i.e. not on all my nice blankets) and no longer in pain.  That’s a huge relief.

4)  A good boss

Chronic illness is terrifying, particularly when you love your job and want to earn the respect of colleagues you admire through hard work, but have to take off unreasonable amounts of time due to situations like my current Prostap issue.  I am still super stressed about it, but less stressed than I would be if my amazing boss wasn’t so good about this whole poopy situation.

5) Fulfilling a goal

One of my three goals this year was to read the Old Testament.  I have officially finished it.  I’ll admit, it mostly wasn’t thrilling.  The prophecy books (Isiah, anything after Jonah) are mighty confusing unless you have some reference material to explain what the heck they are talking about.  Lots of doorways getting measured and people dying of famine and then everything getting better and people being happy again.  I really enjoyed the books with strong female characters, though – Ruth, Esther, the early parts of Judges – and some of the books, like Lamentations, have some truly beautiful imagery.  There’s a lot of good stuff in Psalms and Proverbs, too.

Anyway, I’m proud of finishing it.  I’m on track to fulfil Goal 2 (getting SCUBA certified) next month, even if I’m doing really poorly with Goal 3 (learning Arabic).

6) Pretty dresses

Image result for review australia chateau floral
Image description: a beautiful brunette girl (not me, although I am also a beautiful brunette girl) in a burgundy dress with purple and pink flowers on it.  This is Review’s Chateau Floral dress, and I love it.  Photo by Review.  

This month has been all about the comfort clothes.  Maternity jeans, turtlenecks, flowing trousers.  Today, I realised I haven’t worn an item of clothing just because I love it for a very long time, and that makes me sad.  So, I made an effort, grabbed one of my absolute favourite dresses (pictured above), and wore it just because.

7) Clean water

It’s a simple thing to be grateful for, but it’s so important.  Clean water is one of the greatest guarantees of health (in terms of freedom from things like cholera, anyway, if not from endo) and is vital to sustaining life.  It also tastes good.  If I’m thirsty, I can just turn on the tap.  People in Flint in the USA still don’t have clean water after years of complaints, and that is in the very developed world.  People in other parts of the world have to walk for miles to get water, and today I literally bathed in litres of it.  A few weeks ago, I went for a swim in a 50m pool.  That’s more water than some people will ever see.  Even in Australia, animals and people suffer every time there is a drought.  Clean water is something we cannot take for granted or be sufficiently thankful for.  Clean water is life.

8) Assassin’s Creed

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Image description: the torso and head of a man in white Renaissance clothing with a red fancy sash and silver belt, a brown cloak and two knives sticking out of bracers on his wrists.  The text says: Assassin’s Creed II

I finished the first Assassin’s Creed game some time last year after literally years of procrastinating, and I loved it.  This month, after slightly less time, but still a lot of procrastinating, I finished the second one.  The first one sees you play an Assassin in the Middle East during the Crusades; in the second, you are in Renaissance Italy.  Both games are heaps of fun and absolutely stunning.  Seriously, the detail that goes in to creating the huge cities that these games are set in makes them worth playing even if you don’t want to stab lots of bad guys and save innocents from corrupt guards.  I so badly want to go it Italy now.

9) One year

I’ve been writing this blog for one whole year now.  I’ve been up and down with it – it’s really hard when I’m not well, because my motivation and creativity take a big hit – but I have stuck to it.  I have more than 100 followers, and I’m super grateful to each and every one of you.  I can’t tell you how happy it makes me when I see someone like an article.  Please keep on liking and sharing, and let me know in the comments if there is any particular content you want to see more of.  I want to keep this blog relevant to the experiences of people with endo, adeno and chronic pain, and it really helps me to know what people want to read.

10)  Today

Sundays are really difficult for me, because I spend a lot of time stressing about how I’m going to get through another week, and how exhausted I will be when I have to get up at 6am, and whether I’ll even be able to fit into my clothes tomorrow.  Today I woke up especially depressed and I kept getting worse.  However, I managed, largely thanks to my husband, to pull my socks up (actually I wore tights, but whatever), put on my pretty dress and do my face and hair, leave the house, breathe some fresh air, buy the vitamins I’ve been neglecting, and eat some good food and drink some delicious hot apple cider.  It was really, really hard to actually do that, but I did.  I’m proud of that.

 

What are you grateful for this month?  Have you baked anything delicious lately?  Share in the comments.

Working with Endo: What to Wear

CW: maternity, weight gain, gendered language

I’ve written before about the difficulties of holding down a job whilst living with endo. Re-reading that post is an interesting experience. I was still in litigation, and specifically said that my health might force a move into policy – an area that, at the time, I had no interest in. Well, that prediction sadly came true, in part. My health did force me to leave litigation, but it turns out policy is actually pretty fun.

I’ve also written before about clothes that are comfy yet not terrible for when you have endo. I want to revisit that topic today, but with a work focus. I’m concentrating on offices here, partly because that is what I know and partly because many non-office careers either come with uniforms, dress codes or special requirements (steel-toe boots, for example).

If you want to look at some more adventurous office ideas, I highly recommend Miss Louie’s various lookbooks (see here and here ). She has so many great ideas on professional yet interesting outfits. If you need to travel for work, head over to this post by Vintage Barbie. I’d also recommend her post on maintaining your own style in a corporate world.

So, without further ado, here are my five office staples for the office worker with endo belly:

1) The well-fitted knickers

Ok, so this applies to literally any outfit, officey or otherwise, but it is so important. Whether you have endo or not, you generally want to avoid the dreaded Visible Panty Line (not terribly professional). It’s not always easy in a world that seems to sell an inordinate amount of cheeky-cut undies that have their leg at that annoying mid-point that just cuts your buttock right in half. If you have been even slightly blessed in the booty, this tends to cause a slight dimple and becomes very obvious under even moderately tight clothing. I also find that they cause me to be making adjustments all day. If you really love a halfway-up-the-butt cut, go for seamless ones that just lie on the buttock rather than gripping and digging in. Cuts that simply won’t cause those lines are G-string, or my personal fave, the granny pants, that cover the entire buttock. In theory, boyleg undies shouldn’t do it either, but boyleg appears to mean different things to different brands and for many, still somehow results in a cheeky cut.  If someone has a recommendation for boyleg undies, with, you know, actual legs, please let me know in the comments.  I just want boxer briefs for people with nothing between the legs.  They look so comfy!

In terms of fitting for endo, you want something that is gentle on the tum. For some, this means a very low cut that lands below the tummy. For others (like me), this means a high cut with a gentle waistband. I highly recommend keeping at least one pair of maternity knickers on hand for the really bad days. I’ve started wearing some maternity things and seriously, the comfort level is out of this world.  Overall, my favourite brand has to be Bonds and their offshoot, Jockey, because they have a style for almost everyone.

Whatever style you choose, make sure you are getting the right size. Too big and you’ll be hoisting them up all day. Too small, and you’ll not only get VPL on both the legs and waistband, you’ll also be in a great deal of discomfort. Compression is the enemy of endo (another good reason to get fantastic knickers, as shapewear is not our friend). It is worth getting a few sizes if you often suffer endo-belly. A 12 is good for me most days, but on a flare day a 14 is just a bit more comfortable and accomodates that rapid expansion much better. Endo can also cause rapid weight changes – I’ve gained nearly two sizes in the past few months – so having bigger or smaller sizes on hand is an annoying necessity. If you gain weight, please don’t keep stuffing yourself into knickers that are too small. You’ll be horribly uncomfortable. It might be upsetting to have to accept that you have gained weight, but making yourself uncomfortable won’t help.

2) Elastic-waisted black trousers

Black trousers are a corporate essential. You can dress them down for casual Friday, but you can’t be caught short being insufficiently formal for a meeting or presentation. When I was in litigation I always had a pair of black trousers in my desk drawer just in case, after getting sent to court with very little warning wearing a skirt that was fine for a client-free day in the office but absolutely not ok for court.

I have multiple pairs of black trousers in a variety of styles – wide leg, boot cut, straight leg, high-waisted, etc – but the most important one in an endo-gal’s arsenal is a pair with an elastic waistband. They are so good on those days where a static waistband looks like Satan and you just want really just want comfort and a super easy outfit.  I recently purchased this pair from Target, which don’t look superb in the website picture but look perfectly acceptable on and are very comfy.  The only downside is that you can’t really tuck things into it, because the waistline does look a little cheap and, well, very obviously elasticised.  That being said, I want another pair.  One comment says that they are great for shorties, but they fit my 5’10” frame just fine as an ankle-grazing style.  For $15, they are well worth it.

3) A stretch black pencil skirt

A black pencil skirt is, just like the black trousers, an office necessity.  You can make it casual with a simple t-shirt and flats, or dressed up with a buttoned shirt or silky blouse.  A pencil skirt is the most formal style of skirt, much as I love my flared midi-skirts.  Thing is, of course, you don’t want just an elastic waist with such a clingy style – you want stretch EVERYWHERE.  You don’t want it to be tight or compressing, either – you want one that just skims everything and sits comfortably.  I recently got this one, also from Target, that fits the bill perfectly.  It looks very smart, and doesn’t dig in at all.  I wore it on a work trip to Melbourne that included flights, taxi rides, a seminar, walking all over the place, and Lord of the Fries.  It doesn’t look terribly cheap, and it doesn’t look immediately like its a stretch fabric as opposed to an ordinary suit skirt.  It’s a good length for me but would also be fine on a slightly shorter or taller person too.

4) Good tights

The holy grail of workwear for a skirt-wearing type.  They hide a multitude of issues – dry patches or those little bits I miss when shaving – and just add a level of polish and sophistication.  They also put a barrier between your foot and your shoe, which helps prolong the life of your shoes.  They are required in many more conservative law firms if you wear a skirt, particularly if you appear in court.

They are a nuisance, though.  Despite my extremely extensive wardrobe, I sometimes feel like I’ve spent more on tights than any other type of clothing.  Thick ones are too warm in summer, but sheer ones rip at the drop of a hat.  So many have built-in slimming, which is fun if you don’t have endo, I’m sure.  I find those very painful.

However, there are tights out there that are both comfortable and not prone to laddering.  I always look for tights that, when damaged, get holes rather than ladders.  A hole just sits there.  It doesn’t look great, but, unlike a ladder, it won’t start at your thigh and have ruined your entire leg by lunch time.

I also look for those with words like “comfort brief”, “wide waist-band” or “no dig”.  If those fail me, maternity tights are always an option.  I got a bunch of these Kayser tights on sale a few weeks ago, and they are saving my life (or at least my tum) at the moment.  Very comfy, and they hole rather than ladder.

5) A slouchy blazer

I love a structured blazer.  I feel amazing in a properly fitted suit jacket.  Sometimes, though, everything hurts and you need to be able to flop in your chair and not feel constrained.  For that, I love a looser, less structured blazer like Review’s Aries jacket, or a completely jersey blazer.  I got one from Kmart that looks surprisingly professional when not covered in cat hair, but I can’t find it anywhere on their website.

This is less of a “must have” than the other things, but a jacket really does finish off an office outfit and is great for turning a casual outfit into an office-appropriate casual Friday outfit.  Endo sufferers may not need a slouchy jacket, but I find that, when I’m having a really difficult day, pain-wise, being comfy everywhere makes a huge difference to my ability to tolerate it.  A stiff jacket looks amazing but saps my spoons, so I feel that a relaxed blazer deserves a spot on this list.

Now, I realise this list sounds super boring.  Basics usually are.  To prove, though, that these pieces are important, I am going to do a week in the trousers and a week in the skirt, wearing them different ways, and including a slouchy jacket at least once in each week.  As someone who spends 5 days a week in business or business casual, though, these basics are incredibly important to allowing me to get through the week with a minimum of pain and discomfort.  I don’t need to rely on them every day, but having them there makes all the difference for those days when I am well enough to go to work, but only if everything else in my life is 100% easy and comfortable.

I’m planning a few more posts themes related to this.  In addition to my proposed “comfy work clothes” lookbooks, I want to talk about about how I have coped with my sudden weight gain, and what I keep in my handbag and at my desk to make work easier for me when I’m struggling.  Are there any other work, clothes or body-image-related posts you want to see?

 

February Gratitude

CW: pregnancy, body image

As I mentioned in January, one post I really want to try and commit to each month this year is a list of things I am grateful for.  It is actually quite challenging.  Although I’m generally a positive person who lives life at a level I would call “content”, and only occasionally swing into bouts of terror and sadness, this is quite a challenge for me, particularly since I want to put my animals and my family on every list and I have set myself the challenge to be grateful for new things every month.  Anything that stretches my ability to be grateful, however, I suspect is a good challenge.  Practice, after all, makes perfect.

1)  fLash Lash

This may sound terribly superficial, but since we’ve already established that I am I’m going to plough right ahead anyway.  My friend put me on to this lash serum.  I was really sceptical at first because the idea of a lash serum just sounds really gimmicky to me.  However, I’ve been using it for about a month now, and it works!  My lashes are actually longer.  I tried to take a before and after, but unfortunately my before is really blurry so it’s extremely hard to see any sort of difference.  The difference isn’t huge – certainly nothing as dramatic as the pictures on the website –  but it is noticeable, and I love it.  I will definitely be repurchasing this one.  (And no, sadly this is not a sponsored post and I do not get any money from spruiking the wonders of fLash Lash).

2) Maternity jeans

I’m not pregnant, but I am now a sworn devotee of maternity jeans.  I’ve never actually tried them before, although I have written about them as I know other endo-warriors who wear them.  Now I’m not sure I ever want to wear anything else.  I tried on this pair yesterday and was blown away.

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Image description: a pair of legs wearing black skinny jeans with a rip on each knee standing in a Scandi-style room with a white crib.  There is a wooden window seat next to the legs with a cream cushion and a grey throw.

They look like jeans, but they feel like leggings and they are so soft and comfy on the belly.  They are actually quite flattering, and I say this as someone who has always felt very self-conscious about the width of her hips in leggings and skinny jeans.  With a pair of biker boots they are positively badass.  Badass comfort – what more could you possibly want?  You could fight crime and look cool in these things.

3)  New friends

Whilst I still miss my friends from my old workplace, particularly my fLash Lash friend and another lovely woman who left a few months before I did, I am delighted to have found such incredible people at my new job.  They are mostly women, and they are all wonderful – friendly, helpful, chatty, hardworking, collaborative, and always up for a jaunt to the local coffee shop or grocer.  They’ve made me feel so at home.  Great colleagues make for a great job even when the work isn’t tops, and I love the work too, so it’s great all round.

4)  My employer’s attitude to disability

Although I have thankfully not had to put it to the test in a “I’ve only worked three hours in the last month” sort of way, my employer so far seems really pro-disability and supportive of disabled staff.  We get personalised desk assessments (everyone, disabled or otherwise) and if you have a pre-existing condition they get in a physio or other specialist to do it.  Mine has resulted in a better chair and an extra plug so I can have my electric heat pack plugged in at my desk.  This means no more awkward trips to and from the kitchen every forty minutes juggling a piping hot wheat bag that will be painfully hot at first and then cool down annoyingly quickly.  This hugely increases my ability to stay at my desk working.  It makes such a difference.

5)  Cool weather

I don’t do terribly well in the heat.  I am too white for days much above 30 degrees.  I like a gentle cool breeze on a warm 27-28 degree day.  English summers are largely perfect, in my eyes.  Summers here are dry and baking and seem to parch the moisture right out of you, except when it is stormy in which case they are hot and sweaty but still leave you really thirsty and dry on the inside.  Thankfully, February has largely seen a move to more gentle temperatures.  As I write this, we’re expecting a top of 24.  Perfect.  Love it.  I know I’ll be having the opposite feeling come winter, but right now I’m happy as the proverbial clam.

6)  Nice hair

It’s not always nice, but yesterday I got a haircut and now it’s just spiffy.  It’s great while it lasts and it makes me happy.  It smells nice, too.

7)  Adventurous tomatoes

I didn’t plant any tomatoes this year.  My plants just ran riot last year and I had more tomatoes than I could comprehend, so I thought I’d give them a miss this year.  Despite this, I have four or five tomato plants sprouting in the garden, including one that is growing in the cracks of the pavement again.  They are plucky and determined plants, and I’m actually pretty excited because I do like tomatoes.  I also have a single brave chili growing in my Vegepod.  I’d forgotten I even planted chillis (did I plant chillis?  Is it even a chilli?  We’ll find out when I cut it open, I suppose).

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Image description: my hand, holding six slightly oval little tomatoes.  One has a green stem on it.  There is dirt on some of them and on my fingers because they are fresh from the garden.

8)  Valentine’s Day

Like most people, I’m not a huge fan of the commercialism that inevitably springs up around days like this.  However, I am a fan of the idea of love persevering, and a brave man helping couples marry in secret.  I also like the reminder it brings to have a special date with my husband and take an evening to really cherish our relationship.  We’ve endured a lot together and it’s really important for us to make happy memories too.

9)  The Done app

As you may know from my previous mention of my dairies, I’ve switched from a bullet journal to a more traditional (but also very fullsome) planner this year.  One other thing I’ve done is make my habit tracker digital.  There’s an app called Done which allows you to track 5 habits for free, or as many as you like for $6.99.  I paid for the full suite.  I’m sticking to tracking my habits far more effectively when it’s on my phone, and it is actually easier to view trends there.

Image result for done app
Image description: text that reads, “Track any goal or Habit.  Track an activity multiple times a day, week, month or year.”  Beneath that is a grey silhouette of a phone.  On the screen it says, “Done”.  Beneath that are five bars.  A partially-filled yellow one says “Wake Up Early: 3.  This week, 03/04 mornings”.  A partially filled red one says “Workout: 5.  This month: 08/10 sessions.”  A partially-filled bright blue one says “Drink Water: 3.  Today: 04/08 glasses.”  A partially-filled lilac one says, “Meditation: 3.  Weekly: 02/03 sessions.”  A fully-filled blue one says, “Less coffee: 5.  Today: 00/02 cups max.”

When you have reached your goal for the day/week/month/whatever, the bar fully fills up.  The number on the right refers to your streak of how many days/weeks/months in a row you’ve managed the habit.  It’s quite motivating and really quick to do.

10) Finally getting over this cold (I hope)

This darn cold is dragging on and on and on, as they always do when you have an immune system as useful as the male nipple.  However, I think it might finally be going away.  I can feel something almost like energy waving a tentative hand in my direction, and my headache is only dizzying instead of catastrophic.  Progress!

 

 

Flying with Endometriosis Part 3: What to Wear

For many people, flying is already a nightmare.  For people with endometriosis, there’s an added layer of difficulty.  In this multi-part series, “Flying with Endometriosis”, I want to talk about some of things we can do to make travel a bit easier.

What is the first priority on a plane (except from arriving at your destination, of course)?  Comfort!  Planes are not the most comfortable, particularly if you are crammed into economy.  With endometriosis, it’s even less comfortable.  You’re stuck in pretty much one position for hours at a time and you have to line up for ages to use the toilet.  Then you have to walk around a heap in the airports.  Enduring all that, you can bet your [insert noun here] I want to be comfy.  Trouble is, I also want to look good, partly because I am vain and shallow and partly because it makes me feel more confident, alert and prepared.

I’ve already discussed how to dress an endo belly, but when you are travelling you really have to take comfort to the next level.  If you are more of a video person, I highly recommend checking out Miss Louie, who is one of my favourite youtubers.  She’s done this video and this one with a whole bunch of easy-to-wear travel outfits.  There’s something for everyone.

However, if you prefer a written list or simply can’t see Miss Louie’s options working for you, read on for a more general discussion.

In choosing an outfit, I think there are some questions you should ask yourself:-

  1. Does this press on my pelvis when sitting, standing or lying?
  2. Does it press on my pelvis if I swell up?
  3. Does this press on any other joints that tend to get sore or swollen?

These three are the most important, because that is ultimately what will dictate if an outfit is going to be comfy for a person with endo.  Anyone who suffers from flareups knows that something digging into your pelvis when it is sore and swollen if just horrific.  For some people, this may mean that any pants at all are off the table and you need to look at a dress instead.  For others, leggings or even super stretchy jeans or an elastic-waisted skirt will be fine.

The remaining questions are more general and probably less of a deal-breaker than the above three, but still worth thinking of:-

  1. Are there any buttons, zips, or other decorative things that will dig into you?
  2. Is it comfy enough to sleep in?
  3. Will it ride up and flash things it shouldn’t?
  4. Will it give you a wedgie?
  5. Will it wrinkle easily/does it look bad wrinkly?
  6. Can you take layers off if you get too hot or add layers if you get too cold?
  7. Do your shoes slip off easily for going through security?

If it will dig in, isn’t comfy, rides up, wrinkles, can’t layer and your shoes require a lot of lacing or other fiddling, don’t wear it.  It will be a hassle.  It will be uncomfortable, you will not sleep as well and you will get to the other end looking and feeling less than stellar.

My go-to for flights is this combination.

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All of these items are from Modcloth, except the boots which are from Betts.  (Yes, I used Stylebook to put this together).  They are a few years old so I doubt anyone dying of envy about my incredible stylishness will be able to get those exact items, however.  From the bottom up:

  1. Knee-high riding boots might not be as easy to slip in and out of as a pair of slip-on trainers, ballet flats, or ankle boots, but I know that I will wear them a lot in the UK so if I don’t wear them, I’d have to pack them anyway.  As they are my heaviest shoes, it makes sense to carry them on my feet rather than haul them all over the airport in my suitcase.  They do still come on and off easily, and look good with my leggings.
  2. Under my boots I’ll be wearing a pair of compression socks, to avoid DVT, or Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot that forms in the leg.  You won’t necessarily get it if you don’t wear them, but if you do, it can be super dangerous.  It’s very easy for DVT to become life-threatening in a very short space of time.  I’ll also use the compression socks in hospital after my operation, so they are good investment, if not the comfiest.  As I wrote earlier, I’ll have cosy socks to wear over them on the flight, because I kick my boots off as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off.
  3. I love these leggings because they have actual function pockets that can hold a lip balm or spare change.  They are a little small for my phone, but having pockets at all is great.  They are thick and warm but not too hard on the old pelvis.
  4. Underneath the top I’ll be wearing this singlet from Boody.  Incredibly soft and comfy (with the added bonus of being ethically made and environmentally friendly), the singlet will just provide an extra layer of warmth, help preserve modesty if something happens with my top, and let me take a top layer off if somehow my flight gets stranded in Dubai with no air-conditioning again.  Seriously not fun.  I nearly passed out.
  5. The top itself is just loose, soft and very comfy, but a bit fun with the patterned sleeves.  It helps make it just a little less basic.
  6. The cardigan is loose and voluminous so I can wrap it around me.  It has a deep hood so I can cover my face in case I loose my eye mask for the flight, and hide the fact that I’ve got a sheet mask on or suchlike.  It looks a little more dressy than, say, my Batman hoodie, but it is still comfy and casual.

I’ve flown with this outfit before and it was comfortable and practical.  Post-surgery the leggings might be a little tight or irritate the incision sites – if that happens, I’ll switch to a long-sleeved maxi dress from Divinity collection.  It’s not quite as ideal as they are incredibly long so they do drag on the floor and do wrinkle a bit.  However, it is very comfy, will keep my covered when I lie down, and is an easy canvas to accessorise.  My pelvis will be totally free to do its thing and I will be warm, my modesty will be protected, and I should still look pretty acceptable when I stumble into my husband’s arms when I arrive back in Australia.  I’ll be taking both my black and my burgundy ones in my suitcase in any event.

Do you have a go-to travel outfit?  What do you look for in travelling clothes, either generally or to protect yourself from endo pain?  Let me know in the comments!

App Review: Stylebook

I may be coming across as intensely shallow with my recent posts about hair and makeup and my previous post on fashion.  Well, I am shallow, so that’s fine.  I like pretty things and I have no shame in that.  Mock if you will.  Anyway, as part of maintaining a life of prettiness, I like to keep organised (my mother will scoff at that but there is a method to my madness, I swear).  I could do that through my bullet journal, which is how I organise most of my life, but for hair, makeup and clothes, I like to use the amazing Stylebook app.

I was first introduced to this app by my friend the Vintage Barbie.  If you like vintage-y style you will love her blog.  Go and follow it.  Anyway, she got me hooked on this app and there has been no going back.

Stylebook currently costs $5.99 of the Australian dollars on the App Store.  It’s not available on Android, alas.  Normally, I’m not a fan of paying for apps, but I make an exception for this one.

I won’t go into a breakdown of how to use the app, because Vintage Barbie covers it beautifully and I’d just be duplicating her excellent explanation.  What I want to talk about is why I love it.

Although Stylebook is an absolute pain to set up, particularly if you have a lot of clothes, it is incredibly easy to use once you have it completed.  It’s also really useful and totally customisable.  For example, although the app is intended to be used for clothes and accessories, I have added in my makeup, perfume and hairstyles.

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I do not agree with the concept “too many lipsticks”.  

This lets me pick what lipstick I want to match with an outfit without having to rummage through my obscenely large collection to pick a colour.  It also inspires me to try different hairstyles by picking them ahead of time instead of just leaving it to its own devices (or throwing it into a hasty ponytail on court days).  I’ve just pulled screenshots from my favourite Youtube tutorials or Pinterest and wacked them into my Hairstyles section.

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You can see one of my favourite styles, the Candyfloss Bun, up there in the left column.  

The biggest pro of Stylebook, as far as I’m concerned, is that it shows me a) what I’m not wearing very much and b) what I’m not getting good cost-per-wear out of.  That’s super valuable in terms of curating my wardrobe, because it forces me to take a good look at the items in question.  If they are things that it makes sense not to wear often and to have a high cost-per-wear (for example, my wedding dress, which is the only floor-length gown I own and I’ve only worn twice) then I don’t mind it remaining in that category.

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Did I get married in Review?  Yes, yes I did.

However, if it is a more casual item, then there is no excuse for it to be hanging around if I’m not wearing it regularly, and that’s a sign to me that I should be selling it on or donating it.  I’m a really goal-orientated person, so if I set myself the goal of getting something out of my “only worn once” list, then by golly I will do it, whether by making myself wear it more often or getting rid of it and deleting it from the app.

It also helps me when I’m shopping, which is something I’ve been better at not doing this year but still really enjoy.  I have a rule that I’ll only buy something if it goes with at least three other things in my wardrobe (unless it is a dress or something for a special occasion).  With Stylebook, I can pull out my phone and check through my other clothes and go yes, it goes with these three things, so I can buy it.  I don’t have to waste valuable brain real estate on committing my current clothing stash to memory just to pick new items – my entire wardrobe is there in my hand.  For example, I just bought the Betty Bloom skirt from Review during their recent 30% of sale items promotion.

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Did I need another floral pencil skirt?  Probably not, but it is nice and long, which is hard to pass up for me.  Also, it was really, really on sale.  Never pay full price.  Words to live by.

Pulling out my app I can see that it will go with these four tops at least.

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Yes, they are all Review, and yes, I have a problem.  From left to right, the ivroy Royce, the Moore top, the Tasha top and the Isadora jumper.  None of them are the current season, but if you want to try and find them I recommend the Review Buy Swap Swell page on facebook.  It’s a goldmine.  

It’s not only going to go with a fair few things, but this means I know I can work it for both cold and hot weather.  I know I have others it will go with as well.

This app is also great for keeping track of my clothes.  Like everyone, I have pieces that I wear more often than others, and I tend to know where they are.  Pieces I love less sometimes go missing and I won’t immediately notice.  Stylebook reminds me of their existence so I go hunting for them and recover them from the back of drawers or the bottom of the laundry bin.

I also can’t get past the peace of mind it gives me to know what I am wearing in advance.  I check out my roster for the coming week, figure out what is happening on each day and select appropriate clothes.  For instance, on an office-only day in summer I would like to wear my lovely Veronika Maine culottes, but judges will look at me askance if I wear those to court, so I’ll pick a pencil skirt or dress trousers for those days instead.  If I’m having a flare-up, it also lets me plan soft, comfy clothes for the week so I know that I will be presentable with minimal effort and maximum comfort.  It also lets me challenge myself – for example, to celebrate spring I am wearing a floral every day through the month of September and aiming not repeat the floral item.  So far I have managed every day.  Last October, it was a dress every day for Frocktober.

Finally, this app is incredibly useful for packing.  I’m a massive overpacker for holidays despite being able to be totally frugal on bushwalks and hikes.   Using Stylebook I can create a little capsule wardrobe for wherever I’m headed and plan my outfits in advance based on my activities.  This helps me make sure that everything I pack goes with everything else and I don’t have any single-use items, except for special occasions.  I’m going to the UK next month, so I’ll post a packing list before I leave.

In conclusion, Stylebook is great and I have a lot of Review.  I do have a lot of Veronika Maine and Cue too, but because they don’t name their pieces the way Review does it’s really hard to find old stock photos so they don’t get added to Stylebook as much.   Anyway, for me this app has been totally worth the money as I use it on a daily basis and it helps me make more informed choices about what I buy and sell.

Do you have Stylebook?  Are you an Android user with an alternative you love?  Any other great fashion apps I should check out?  Let me know in the comments.

Two Sizes Bigger in Two Hours: Dressing for Endo Without Compromising Style

Massive trigger warning for pregnancy, infertility.

 

I’ve already explained the exciting phenomenon of endo belly in an earlier post, where you swell up for no good reason and look like you’re about to give birth.  In the image at the top of the article, you can see my poor stretched out tum during a particularly bad episode of endo belly.  Normally I’m a relatively slender size 10.  Not so during a flare-up.  Recently I’ve had two unrelated people just assume I was pregnant, and my endo belly wasn’t even that bad at the time.  You can see why people assume it at the height of a flare, though – there is a very distinct, almost pointy shape to the belly that is clearly not just weight gain, and it is very localised.  The rest of me looks as it always does.  It can really suck for many people with endo, particularly those who feel strongly called to motherhood, because endometriosis can have a horrible impact on fertility.  Endo belly is a very cruel, sad mockery of that.

On a lighter but still extremely annoying note, it makes it very hard to dress.  Clothes that fit you some days of the week are suddenly two sizes two small the rest of the week.  It’s a pain in the rear – many of us have work to go to wear pyjamas are not considered appropriate (I’m just trying to imagine a magistrate’s face if I asked to do an appearance in pjs!) and the rest of us would just like to be able to get dressed.

So I want to share some tips and some favourite brands/clothing items both for everyday wear and for work.

I apologise in advance: this is not a particularly gender neutral article.  I am not a designer or even a particularly fashion-forward person and I don’t know enough about men’s bodies and clothes to give tips.  If any men with endo would like to give me some hints, or even write a post for this blog, I would welcome you most warmly.

Shop Maternity

Yes, given what I’ve said above this is not going to be an easy tip for everyone because it really just rubs it in that you aren’t pregnant and that you’re wearing maternity clothes because your own body hates you.  For those who don’t care so much about the pregnancy side of things, however, the maternity section can be a really good option.  It offers sizes that accommodate a range of swelling, from minor to enormous, and because it is specifically designed for women with a bump, it can offer some really stylish, comfortable options, and comfort really is super important.

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I quite like this look from Target’s maternity section.  It is cheap to put together (relatively speaking) but still appropriate for a more casual office environment or a dressy-casual event.  Swap out the trousers for maternity jeggings and you even get to sort of wear jeans.  https://www.target.com.au/look/colour-block-fun/LOOK1215104

Another great thing about maternity clothes is that they cradle and support the bump without putting pressure on it, which tends to make everything worse.

The downside is, of course, that it does nothing to disguise the bump, if that’s your preference.  It can also take a little getting used to.  It’s a lovely thing to be shopping for maternity clothes when are pregnant, I assume, but it can feel strange and humiliating when you aren’t, not least because of the assumptions and explanations if you end up in conversation with a stranger there.

Avoid Shapewear

Beginners to the bump may think the best way to deal with it is to force it to comply by squeezing it into shapewear.  That might slim it out, but you are probably putting yourself through untold agony for minimal gain.  When you have endo belly, pressure over the pelvis is restricting blood flow and pressing on spots that are already inflamed and irritated, so the most likely outcome of shapewear is just pain.

If you need to squeeze yourself into tights or similar for work, go for something like these Bonds Comfy Tops.  Yes, they say slimming, but they are some of the least restrictive tights I have found and tend to sit comfortably over the pelvis without squishing it.  Alternatively, get some soft comfy leggings and pretend they are tights by hiding their footlessness in boots.

Embrace the Maxi

A shapeless maxi was something I would once have turned my nose up at.  Now, I love them.  Loose and flowing, they are perfect for avoiding the summer sweats, or for snuggling up into in winter.  The key to making them look fun rather than like you are practically dying from pain and this was literally the only thing you could find is accessorising.  This great Popsugar video shows 7 summery ways to dress up a shapeless maxi that shouldn’t take too much money or effort, but take you from swamp creature (my standard morning look) to chic (never my standard look).

This article from College Fashion has some cute ideas for winter.  Short girls are often told they aren’t allowed to wear maxis because you will look short (which you are, so, shock) and that their only goal in life should be to look tall and slender (it should not be).  My high-fashion tip is just embrace being short and stuff the height-shamers, but if it is a concern for you, try this article by Petite Dressing and this one by Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins for some tips on how to style a maxi without looking like you’re being swallowed up by it.

Search for Elastic Waists

More and more retailers are realising that women want comfort, regardless of their size and shape.  One of my favourite Australian brands, Review, comes out with a couple of elastic-waisted skirts a year, which I live for.  Their current offering is this pretty grey number.

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Review’s Love Parade Skirt, $169.99

Past options have included black and navy.  I’m hoping they give us a lot more of these.  Thankfully, Review has a really good rewards programme and great sale, so endo-havers on a budget may still be able to snap up some nice pieces.

Trouser fans may enjoy this offering from Reformation, but beware of shipping costs and all prices being displayed in those wacky US dollars.

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Reformation Joss Pants, $78USD

 

Land’s End offers a more conservative, work-friendly trouser for those of us in traditional office jobs.  I’ve ordered a couple of swimsuits from Land’s End and they are lovely quality, so I’d imagine their trousers are pretty spiffy too.

Women's 7 Day Elastic Waist Pants
Land’s End 7-Day Elastic Waist Pants, $57.49

There are, of course, plenty of more budget-friendly options too, including these truly bizarre but very colourful ASOS culottes.

Target has a whole range of nice options, but won’t let me import any of their pictures, so I’ll just link you.  This skirt is elastic-waisted and office appropriate, and costs only $25.  Somehow they make these joggers look office-appropriate, but that might just be clever photography.   They even have a pencil skirt for $30, and are trying out some bizarre trend called “Treggings” (trouser-leggings), although I’d be wary of these compressing the pelvis.

Check-out Menswear

If you are a man with endometriosis, you’re probably rolling your eyes at this super obvious tip, but for women with endo, it may not be territory you’ve explored before.  Menswear is generally cheaper, stronger, has more pockets and is built far more for comfort that clothes aimed at women.  It’s a great source of looser, lower-riding jeans and hoodies to snuggle up in.  That being said, don’t discount styling menswear for more than just staying home: some women love it for work, going out, and even formalwear.

 

I hope this gives some hope for people with endo who still love their fashion and hate being relegated to pyjamas as much as I do.  Don’t get my wrong, I love my pjs dearly, but sometimes I do actually want to go out into society and not get mocked.

What are your favourite pieces and brands for when you have endo belly?  Any tips I’ve missed?